
Dear Mr. Icecream Truck that comes to our neighborhood,
My son and I came out to visit you several times last summer and really enjoyed your products. However, this year seems to be a little different and we haven't been to visit you yet. Will you PLEASE tell me why on earth you are so unbelievably screwed up!?!? First and foremost, you comes at the WORST times of the day. Literally, everyday, you stroll through the neighborhood, either during naptime or right before dinner around 5-5:30pm!! So, please tell me how you expect to make any money in a neighborhood FULL of kids when you come while most of them are probably sleeping or when they are all not allowed to have icecream because they will be eating dinner soon? Perhaps a better time for you to come would be, I don't know maybe, later in the evening after the usual dinnertime? Or, even right after lunchtime? I GUARANTEE you will make a whole lot more money that way. Because, we all know you just stroll through the neighborhood, not getting any business at the times you come anyway!! Oh, and while you are taking my advice...you may want to find some new music to blare out of your speakers...the Christmas carols just aren't cutting it in the middle of the summer!!! Yes, I hear it everyday as you pass by my house...Joy to the World, Deck the Halls, and Jingle Bells over and over and over again! I promise you aren't luring any of us out of our homes with those little diddies. Your choice of songs are really getting kind of old and redundant. Not to mention, just silly, given we are not close to Christmas time at all. Should I remind you that you are selling ICECREAM...not candy canes!!! In case you haven't noticed, it is HOT outside and we are still 6 months away from being ready for that kind of music. These are just some friendly observations I thought I might point out to help boost your business! I promise my son and I will be ready with money in hand if you choose to take my advice!
My son and I came out to visit you several times last summer and really enjoyed your products. However, this year seems to be a little different and we haven't been to visit you yet. Will you PLEASE tell me why on earth you are so unbelievably screwed up!?!? First and foremost, you comes at the WORST times of the day. Literally, everyday, you stroll through the neighborhood, either during naptime or right before dinner around 5-5:30pm!! So, please tell me how you expect to make any money in a neighborhood FULL of kids when you come while most of them are probably sleeping or when they are all not allowed to have icecream because they will be eating dinner soon? Perhaps a better time for you to come would be, I don't know maybe, later in the evening after the usual dinnertime? Or, even right after lunchtime? I GUARANTEE you will make a whole lot more money that way. Because, we all know you just stroll through the neighborhood, not getting any business at the times you come anyway!! Oh, and while you are taking my advice...you may want to find some new music to blare out of your speakers...the Christmas carols just aren't cutting it in the middle of the summer!!! Yes, I hear it everyday as you pass by my house...Joy to the World, Deck the Halls, and Jingle Bells over and over and over again! I promise you aren't luring any of us out of our homes with those little diddies. Your choice of songs are really getting kind of old and redundant. Not to mention, just silly, given we are not close to Christmas time at all. Should I remind you that you are selling ICECREAM...not candy canes!!! In case you haven't noticed, it is HOT outside and we are still 6 months away from being ready for that kind of music. These are just some friendly observations I thought I might point out to help boost your business! I promise my son and I will be ready with money in hand if you choose to take my advice!
Sincerely,
Your Baffled Patron