is due May 8th, 2011!!! We are so very excited!
(just a little warning, this is a LONG entry)
I am a little over 11 weeks now. At our first appointment, last Monday, everything seemed to be perfect. We were able to hear the sweet baby's heartbeat, which was, of course, very relieving and so amazing to hear! I actually keep listening to the recording over and over on my phone. And, Owen always asks to listen to it as well, but he seems to think it is his heartbeat. The first time we let him listen, he said, "Oh, that's like my bear!" We had the recording of his heartbeat put in a Build-a-Bear and he loves to listen to that all the time. As soon as he heard the new baby's heartbeat, he was certain it was the same as his bear :)
Owen seems to be really excited to become a Big Brother! He always wants to "see the baby" or "tickle the baby", which is just adorable. And, if you ask him "who made the baby in Mommy's belly?", he replies, "God...he made everything!" (that is something he has learned at Awana) If you ask, "is it a baby brother or a baby sister?" or "is the baby in Mommy's belly a boy or a girl?", he always answers, "a baby sister!" or "girl!" He has not wavered once from that conviction. We'll see if he is right!
Those of you that are close to us know that, though, I am going to be thrilled either way and that I am simply praying for a healthy baby, I am slightly terrified to have a little girl. It's not that I don't want a girl, I am just a little scared of the idea. I can't really explain it, because, well, I am a girl. So, why would I be so afraid? I don't know. I have just always imagined myself with a house full of boys. In fact, I used to say that I wanted triplet boys someday. Now, that idea has definitely changed...trust me! I guess I am just so used to the simplicity of having a boy. Girls require so many frills and bows and shoes! And, I am not a big shopper, actually some might call me tight with my money. So, the thought of all of those cute clothes and such for girls just gives me the chills. And, the teenage years...yikes!! I think that in itself is what terrifies me the most. I know what teenage girls can be like. I was one back in the day and I really don't know if I am ready to go through that with my own child ;) However, I know that my mentality would certainly change if this baby is a girl! If this is a girl, it is very likely that I will probably be eating my words and wondering what all my worries were all about as soon as I see her and hold her in my arms. We will find out soon enough what this baby is, when he/she comes into this world. It seems as though most people so far are either guessing girl or hoping girl. But, I can't say that I have a feeling either way. With Owen, I knew as soon as I saw the positive test that he was a boy. I was sure...so sure, in fact, that I think (even though we really had no clue until he was actually born) I would have been a little shocked if he had been a girl. It may have taken me a few days to truly believe it! Not to mention, my attempt at a "neutral" nursery pretty much blatantly leaned more towards boy! I still don't know how I ever thought that room could have passed for a girl. We would have had to have added a lot of pink and purple to make it girly, that is for sure :) Anyway, this time, I really haven't had a strong feeling one way or the other. Maybe a feeling will come to be later, but right now, I really don't feel convicted either way.
I have to say, I am much less anxious and worried this time around. I guess having done this before makes the second go around a little less nerve racking. And, man, this pregnancy seems to be flying by. I still feel like we just found out I was pregnant and now I am already close to the end of the first trimester. I remember the weeks just dragging on in the beginning with Owen and I find myself wondering where the weeks have gone this time. So far, I have been feeling so-so. Much like with Owen, I started out feeling like I was just a little under the weather pretty much all day. And, since around 5 or 6 weeks, I have been having major food aversions. I have, literally, only cooked one meal since then because there is nothing that I can decide on to make. Randy and Owen have been fending for themselves (poor guys!) and I have been eating whatever it is that sounds good at that moment. There has been a lot of take out, fast food, and cereal consumed by me in the last few weeks. Here lately, I have been feeling great when I wake up in the morning and through lunchtime. But, then around 4 or 5pm, the yuckies hit. I haven't thrown up at all, which is good, but I just pretty much feel awful in the evenings. It seems to be a combination of being so exhausted and being nauseous. So far, I haven't gained any weight. Not being able to eat much is probably not helping in that department. Just like I did with Owen, I have lost 5 lbs. I can't complain too much, though, because I know so many pregnant women have to deal with so much more. And, I know that this will pass soon enough. At least, I keep telling myself that anyway! I already seem to be having some good days where I don't feel bad at any point. So, that is encouraging. I am guessing I have about 2-3 more weeks and I will feel better.
I may not be gaining any weight at this point, but my belly is certainly growing already. Yes, I said already! I know some women start popping out pretty early. But, with Owen, it seemed to take forever and at this point, nothing had started happening, not even the slightest bit of change. And, I am also aware that I don't really have a belly yet. Some people may think I am crazy. But, things are definitely happening quicker this go around. I have compared my pictures from when I was pregnant with Owen and right now, I look like I did around 16 weeks with him. So, though I totally understand that I am not showing and that to most people, it doesn't appear much is going on, it is something that I certainly notice. I am definitely not complaining...I am just a little shocked. I have always heard it happens faster with the second, but I really wasn't thinking quite this early!! As we did with Owen, we have been taking weekly pictures of my belly. Towards the middle of my pregnancy with him, I actually started wearing the same pants everytime to get a better idea of the changes. So, this time, I have decided to do that all the way through. I will try to post the newest picture each week, but I feel certain that, with the way my brain has been functioning lately (or should I say, not functioning considering pregnancy brain seems to have set in early this time around??), I may not always remember. Here are the pictures so far...
4 weeks
5 weeks
6 weeks
7 weeks
8 weeks
9 weeks
10 weeks
11 weeks
